Almost Lover
by danrdarrenc
Summary: Reid's feelings about his relationship with Luke, if LuRe are not endgame. Oneshot, songfic based on "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy.


I remember the first time you touched me: you shook my hand. That was when it all started for me. That one simple gesture, with all the kindness I had never shown you, melted me like ice in the sun. In that one moment I saw images of all you had done for Noah and imagined how wonderful it would be to have you do the same for me.

_**Your fingertips across my skin**_

_**The palm trees swaying in the wind**_

_**Images**_

You helped me get rid of Judd when he punched me, even though I made it obvious I didn't want your help. And when I showed up at your house to thank you, there you were the deepest sadness in your eyes because you had just broken up with Noah. I melted even quicker. You were seducing me and you didn't even know it. And I knew then that I never wanted to see you unhappy although I knew you couldn't give a damn if I was unhappy.

And so I made a vow to myself to do everything in my power to try not to think about you.

_**You sang me Spanish lullabies**_

_**The sweetest sadness in your eyes**_

_**Clever trick **_

_**I'd never want to see you unhappy**_

_**I thought you'd want the same for me **_

_**Goodbye my almost lover**_

_**Goodbye my hopeless dream**_

_**I'm trying not to think about you**_

_**Can't you just let me be?**_

But I couldn't. We began working on the neurology wing at the hospital together and you were always there. Then you took it upon yourself to come to Dallas with me and that made everything so much harder. We were alone, no Noah, just us, and I was reinstated as a doctor. I couldn't resist any longer. I had to give in and kiss you. I knew you were still in love with Noah and I knew once I kissed I would bring a million years of heartache upon myself. But I had to do it. And so I did.

_**So long my luckless romance**_

_**My back is turned on you**_

_**I should have known you'd bring me heartache**_

_**Almost lovers always do **_

Then you showed up at my door and told me that you wanted to give a relationship with a shot. So we did. You said you wanted to keep it a secret, and I agreed – for the project it was better if no one knew. But when it got dark and most of Oakdale were in their houses we went out and we strolled through Olde Towne. When music was playing you always asked me to dance. And I saw how perfect life could be.

_**We walked along a crowded street**_

_**You took my hand and danced with me**_

_**Images **_

But out of the blue you told me you were going back to Noah. All you said was that he was the love of your life and that, while this was wonderful, it couldn't compare. Before you left, you kissed me and told me you would never, ever forget what we had shared.

How little comfort that is for my shattered heart. You know I never wanted to see you unhappy and I thought that you wanted the same for me. How stupid I was. I knew that I didn't understand the human heart, but I truly believed for a minute that I did. I should have realized that you could and would ever love me the way you love Noah.

_**And when you left you kissed my lips**_

_**You told me you would never**_

_**Ever forget these images**_

_**No **_

_**I'd never want to see you unhappy**_

_**I thought you'd want the same for me **_

_**Goodbye my almost lover**_

_**Goodbye my hopeless dream**_

_**I'm trying not to think about you**_

_**Can't you just let me be?**_

_**So long my luckless romance**_

_**My back is turned on you**_

_**I should have known you'd bring me heartache**_

_**Almost lovers always do **_

So, now, here I am back in Dallas. I could not stay in Oakdale with you and him. But even here I see you everywhere I go. Everything I do, everyone I see reminds me of you. Every dream I have is of you. And I bet you are in Oakdale doing just fine with Noah and never thinking of me expect as the doctor who gave Noah his sight back. Where did I go wrong? How did I make it so easy for you to be a part of my life and then walk right out of it?

_**I cannot go to the ocean**_

_**I cannot drive the streets at night**_

_**I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind**_

_**So you're gone and I'm haunted**_

_**And I'll bet you are just fine**_

_**Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?**_

_**Goodbye my almost lover**_

_**Goodbye my hopeless dream**_

_**I'm trying not to think about you**_

_**Can't you just let me be?**_

_**So long my luckless romance**_

_**My back is turned on you**_

_**I should have known you'd bring me heartache**_

_**Almost lovers always do**_


End file.
